Note: This page will be subjected to constant updates.
On August 26, 1981 I was born in Riverdale, Georgia, USA.
This is the hospital I was born at:
11 Upper Riverdale Rd SW, Riverdale, GA 30274
On August 26, 1982 I reached Level 1.
On August 26, 1983 I reached Level 2.
On August 26, 1984 I reached Level 3.
On August 26, 1985 I reached Level 4.
On August 26, 1986 I reached Level 5.
On August 26, 1987 I reached Level 6.
On August 26, 1988 I reached Level 7.
On August 26, 1989 I reached Level 8.
On August 26, 1990 I reached Level 9.
On August 26, 1991 I reached Level 10.
On August 26, 1992 I reached Level 11.
On August 26, 1993 I reached Level 12.
On August 26, 1994 I reached Level 13.
On August 26, 1995 I reached Level 14.
On August 26, 1996 I reached Level 15.
On August 26, 1997 I reached Level 16.
On August 26, 1998 I reached Level 17.
On August 26, 1999 I reached Level 18.
On August 26, 2000 I reached Level 19.
On August 26, 2001 I reached Level 20.
On August 26, 2002 I reached Level 21.
On August 26, 2003 I reached Level 22.
On August 26, 2004 I reached Level 23.
On August 26, 2005 I reached Level 24.
On August 26, 2006 I reached Level 25.
On August 26, 2007 I reached Level 26.
On August 26, 2008 I reached Level 27.
On August 26, 2009 I reached Level 28.
On August 26, 2010 I reached Level 29.
On August 26, 2011 I reached Level 30.
On August 26, 2012 I reached Level 31.
On August 26, 2013 I reached Level 32.
On August 26, 2014 I reached Level 33.
On August 26, 2015 I reached Level 34.
On August 26, 2016 I reached Level 35.
On August 26, 2017 I reached Level 36.
On August 26, 2018 I reached Level 37. I celebrated my birthday weekend at the Renaissance Hotel in Long Beach California.
From 1986-1987 I was in Kindergarten. Due to the fact that I just turned 5 on August 26, 1986, my teachers felt like I wasn’t mentally mature enough to go to 1st grade. I had to repeat Kindergarten.
From 1987-1988 I was in Kindergarten (again).
From 1988-1989 I was in the 1st grade.
From 1989-1990 I was in the 2nd grade.
From 1990-1991 I was in the 3rd grade. I attended Riverdale Elementary School in Riverdale, Georgia.
From 1991-1992 I was in the 4th grade.
From 1992-1993 I was in the 5th grade.
From 1993-1994 I was in the 6th grade. I attended Lovejoy Middle School.
From 1994-1995 I was in the 7th grade.
From 1995-1996 I was in the 8th grade.
From 1996-1997 I was in the 9th grade.
From 1997-1998 I was in the 10th grade.
From 1998-1999 I was in the 11th grade.
From 1999-2000 I was in the 12th grade. This was my senior year. This was the year I graduated high school. I attended Stockbridge High School in Stockbridge, Georgia. I was living in McDonough, Georgia.
She could be smoking hot… a perfect 10… and she’s got 100s of men telling her how beautiful she is every time she posts a selfie… but what she isn’t telling you is… she’s fucking a 50 year old white guy… she relies on a sugar daddy to pay her bills… and if it wasn’t for him… she’d still be living with her parents or homeless… so, that 50 year old white guy is the REAL MVP.
A lot of these girls that are strippers and 304s… they grew up with low self esteem… so they never even TRY to be anything else… not even joking they become 304s STRAIGHT OUTTA HIGH SCHOOL!… they don’t believe they have the mental capacity to do anything else but sexual related shit… sometimes they learn it from their mom, who was also a 304… they watch their mom manipulate men and the mirror that behavior… MOST of them have homegirls that talked them into it. It’s like a game of 4 square and I’ll discuss that later.
I don’t think women understand the concept of ‘damaged goods’… Most men (good men) will look at a woman for what she’s ACTUALLY worth (besides sex)… so, a LOT of these girls a in a rush to do ‘young hoe shit’… and they don’t realize that they are turning themselves into damaged goods… they are ruining their reputation and turning themselves into damaged goods… men in this generation are putting up with shit their grandfathers NEVER had to put up with.
Find a girl who’s worth my time (a very hard thing to do apparently).
Avoid women completely and focus solely on myself and my finances (but I get lonely and horny).
How much time do I have? Am I doing the most with my time? Life is short and the clock is ticking on me and everyone else. I don’t ever want to feel like the prime of my life is over. I would like to believe the best is yet to come. An eternal climb of greatness, if you will.
Does time even matter? You live and you die and there’s so much in this world you don’t control. You should just focus on being happy in the time you have.
I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for everything. It’s not your fault that I fell in love with you. It’s mine. I am man enough to admit that. It’s 100% my fault.
Imagine living your whole life wishing that you could meet someone like you. Thinking it would solve all your problems. Thinking it would fix your love life. If only I could meet someone like me, you tell yourself.
Then… there they are. A random re-blog from a random blog you follow on tumblr. It’s a picture. It’s a girl. She looks interesting. You dig deeper. You read her blogs.
Her style of writing…
Perhaps you think alike? So, you start looking at the list of things she likes. You compare it to the list of things you like. They’re nearly identical.
- We both smoke massive amounts of weed.
- We both like anime, the same anime(s).
- We are both open minded and accepting of other cultures.
- We are both in (or were in) interracial relationships. We don’t mind. Love is love.
- We both have branded ourselves and are building upon these brands.
- We are both incredibly social on the internet.
- We’ve both been homeless…
- We’ve both faced ridicule and opposition because we were in interracial relationships.
- We’ve both dealt with bouts of depression and suicide.
- We’ve both followed our hearts, only to watch it end in disaster.
You want to work with her. You want to help her.
I’m Not A Stalker, Just Someone Who Cared Too Much
So, despite all these similarities. Despite the fact that I am attracted to alternative black girls (which you are) and put them at the top of my preference pyramid (an awesome word I just invented as I’m writing this and will be using from now on). Despite the fact that I truly believe (in my heart of hearts) that you would be perfect for me and that we’d get along very well, I am told that I am a creep and a stalker.
It’s like having a twin that hates you. It’s awkward and confusing. It’s bewildering.
The truth is I didn’t go to Erik’s funeral to stalk you. I went to pay my respects to Erik. My final respects. If I didn’t see him then, I would have never gotten to see him ‘in person’. I also knew you suffered from social anxiety. I wanted to be there for you, to comfort you in any way possible. I also knew that there was a 50/50 chance you wouldn’t even show up. I went anyway.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the lines there was a miscommunication. Due largely in part to the fact that you wouldn’t even give me the common courtesy of picking up the phone, returning my calls, or responding to my text messages. You went dark. You went incommunicado. I was left with no choice but to make my own decisions and I don’t always make the best decisions.
Buying a plane ticket and taking off immediately may seem like a psychotic idea to you, but in my world (my friends and I) do it all the time. We are all very spontaneous people. My family members even say I am the most “get up and go” person they know.
The Part That Bothers Me The Most
I saw potential in you. I saw potential in us working together to build our brands. But… you wouldn’t even give me a chance. I wasn’t worthy of a simple phone conversation. I wasn’t worthy enough to be called a friend. I wasn’t worth a face-to-face meet up –– not even a cup of coffee, a drink, or a simple smoking session.
The truth is I have an addictive (obsessive) personality… and you were my new obsession.
The fact that you were willing to respond to me in the beginning and that you were willing to work with me (on some level) only added fuel to the fire. And when the shit hit the fan, I told myself…
I can save her. I can be her new bean. I can be bigger and better than Erik ever was because I have the means to do so. I can be Erik 2.0. I’ll give her everything. I’ll have her back. I’ll give her the keys to the castle… and she’ll never have to feel that type of pain ever again.
The Ultimate Irony
In the ultimate irony, you’ve said (yourself) these exact same things. You’ve felt the way I currently feel, and yet you can’t see it in me. It’s like you’re blind to your own reflections.
And So, I Bid You Adieu
After I made the payment to the gofundme, I saw how upset and sad you were on YouTube Live. It made me feel awful. It was never my intention to make you feel sad or angry. All I ever wanted to do was help you out. To be there for you. I just want you to be happy. But if my presence in your life (even if it’s only online) makes you unhappy, then it’s time for me to bite the bullet and say my farewells.
Just know that I wish things were different. I wish I could have met you in some other type of way, under different circumstances. I wish you would have gave me a chance.
And, for what it’s worth, I love(d) you Cassandra Julien…
Peace, Makell Bird.
I tried to save her.
I tried to save her from the pain and emotional turmoil that was headed her way.
Because I’ve experienced this pain multiple times in my life.
I felt I was the best man for the job. I was the most well equipped to handle her.
I felt like this is what Erik would have wanted for her.
But how can I save someone who turns a deaf ear and a blind eye to me, Erik?
If Cassee actually took the time to communicate with me, she would slowly but surely being to understand why I did, and why I do, all the things I did.
If Cassee actually knew my past. If she actually took the time to trade war stories with me… she would know who I really am.
I watched The Incredible Hulk (2008) last night and I had the exact reaction I was expecting to have. It wasn’t great and it wasn’t horrible. It was just more Hollywood drivel, which seems to be the thing in 2008 (read previous blog). I will say this though, at least it didn’t have a snoozer 45 min. intro like the previous Hulk movie. Some small things were cool, like the appearance of Lou Ferrigno and Tony Stark. However, with all the Hulk material that’s been released, I still prefer the Hulk TV show from back in the day. It had good substance. I’d kill for an actor like Bill Bixby to grace the silver screen in this day and age!
One of the biggest quirks for me about the movie is how short it seemed. The Hulk TV eps were 45 mins alone and this movie is supposedly 114 mins.. So I’d say it’s worth a watch only if you’re bored. My advice is for you to buy the first 2 seasons of Hulk TV so you can see Hulk in good fashion.